An Unanswered Letter to Waffle House

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

September 13, 2011

Waffle House
5986 Financial Drive
Norcross, GA 30071

Dear Waffle House,

Recently I heard that FEMA is using Waffle Houses to gauge the severity of natural disasters. FEMA Administrator W. Craig Fugate has said, “If the Waffle House is open and serving food and has got a full menu, then it’s green. If the Waffle House is open but has a limited menu, it’s yellow, and if the Waffle House isn’t open, that’s red.” You should charge them for this service and not just the food they eat!

I figure if you’re doing FEMA’s work for them you should at least be compensated for it. Put your company down as a FEMA “consultant” and rake in the big bucks! This way you could solve the real problem I am having and open a Waffle House near me. Currently, in the event of a disaster, it looks pretty terrible for Iowans, since as far as I know we have no Waffle Houses. This might confuse Mr. Fugate. He’ll put us down as a red when at worst we’d be a yellow.

So please consider opening a Waffle House in Iowa. You can keep the disasters, and bring me some waffles!

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen