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An Unanswered Letter to FLIR Systems

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010


September 20, 2014


FLIR Systems, Inc.
27700 SW Parkway Ave.
Wilsonville, OR 97070


Dear FLIR Systems,


I want a Flir One personal thermal imager something fierce, but have to admit I can’t get myself to part with $349. It’s not that I think the Flir One isn’t worth this, and it’s not that I couldn’t scrape that much money together (I could sell plasma or drugs or something), but I think what else I could do with $349. For $349 I could buy one of those new Apple watches. For $349 I could take my girlfriend on one hell of a date. I’m not sure what we would do, but I am fairly certain it would be memorable at that price, and probably involve a llama or a goat. For $349 I could sit down at a poker table and if lady luck smiled I could walk away one of the richest men in America! I can dream, can’t I? Just like I can dream of owning a Flir One.

See, I would probably think nothing of dropping $349 on a Flir One if I only knew what I would do with it. I would like to imagine I’d make something awesome, but chances are I’d just record myself masturbating (to see if I got hotter) or perhaps I’d make the world’s first infrared puppet video (do you know if this has been done before?). I’d probably for sure set it up with a motion sensor in front of a mousetrap just to watch one of those buggers die and go from hot to cold. Or maybe I could make a series of internet cat videos where the cats look all devilish.

Wow, the more I think about it the more I want one, but I still can’t justify the price. Maybe if I ever successfully sell one of my kidneys (you don’t know anyone that’s in the market do you?). You wouldn’t have any idea how many acts of prostitution I would have to commit to get a Flir One do you? I’m thinking no more than three, but maybe I am way off on that.

Well, if I ever do get one I’ll be sure to let you know what I use it for. Don’t worry, it probably won’t be anything illegal!


Sincerely,


Christopher L. Jorgensen

p.s. I think I would like to set up a motion sensitive video and point it to a mouse trap and watch that sucker snap and die! He’s slowly cool for hours and I bet people with mouse problems would love to watch that sucker cool1


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Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

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