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An Unanswered Letter to Lazlo Toth

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010


May 5, 2008


Mr. Lazlo Toth
PO Box 245
Fairfax, Ca 94978


Dear Mr. Toth,


I was wondering if you were dropped on your head as a baby. I am told this is a common infantile accident/injury, but I am having difficulty finding a documented case of anyone this has actually happened to.

After reading some small amount about you though, I have become convinced you exhibit all the symptoms these children carry into adulthood:

A nasally voice
A certain moral ambiguity
Excessive hair
Nearsightedness
Excessive masturbation
Large ego
Small stature

If possible, could you let me know if you do engage in excessive masturbation (like more than 6 times a day), thus confirming my diagnosis? For some time now I worried I had been dropped on my head as an infant, since I too met most of these symptoms, but after an unexpected growth spurt in my early 30s I am no longer of small stature.


Thanks!

Love and pogo-sticks,


Christopher L. Jorgensen

p.s. any way I can get an autographed photo?


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Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

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